I was recently asked to participate in a blog book tour for the newly-released Cycle Savvy: The Smart Teen’s Guide to the Mysteries of Her Body, by Toni Weschler. The book is targeted for 14-18 year old girls, and I have one daughter in that range, and one about to enter it. People might remember Weschler’s book, Taking Charge of Your Fertility. She has legions of fans who have managed to become successfully pregnant with her guidance. I have to say, a bit sheepishly, though, that this book is the reason that our sixteen year old is with us today. (ie., I failed to adequately take charge of my fertility; it ended up taking charge of me!)
EDIT: My bad. Weschler reminded me that her book was published in 1996. My daughter was born in 1990. It must have been a different book, with a similar premise. Probably this one?
My plan was to read this book, and then pass it on to my teen for her perusal. I was a bit skeptical about how she’d take it. The book is a little too — pink — and even though it has plenty of perky cartoons, it is set up like a textbook, with a quiz at the end of each chapter. And they’re not the fun kind of quizzes, they’re like tests. Somehow I did not think this would go over well.
The information presented in this book – about anatomy, the physiology and psychology of menstruation, ovulation and whole fertility cycle – is extremely thorough. Maybe a bit too much. Sections on charting one’s daily basal temperature and cervical mucus left me shaking my head. Can I really imagine a 15 year old taking her daily temperature? And examining her cervical mucus? No, I really can’t. Why would someone do this unless they really, really wanted to conceive?
I think that Weschler would have done well to impart the information that she does without adding the parts about charting one’s fertility. She has an impressive appendix of useful resources and a listing of various birth control methods, their pros and cons. I liked the section about being “sex savvy” – a discussion of sexual readiness and choicemaking, but it is really nothing that most contemporary teens don’t already know.
When I turned the book over to my teenager, she eyed it with suspicion. The book’s cover made her roll her eyes; just a little too cute. The cartoonish illustrations inside were not appealing. “If something calls itself COOL, it most definitely is not cool, Mom,” she said. Same with the words “hip” and “happenin’” – these phrases are the kiss of death for teen readers. She gave it a thumbs-down for her own use, but said it could be useful for girls whose mothers don’t tell them anything, or who don’t take Human Development (sex ed) in school. She also said she could see using it as a textbook along with a school course, but nothing she would ever choose to read on her own.
One of my concerns with this book is that a teenaged girl might read this book and then do a half-baked job of “charting her fertility” – taking a superficial glance at her cervical mucus, or taking her temperature for the fun of it, for a week, and then concluding she’s either infertile or fertile, and ready for unprotected sex! O boy! The teens I know are not famous for reading the fine print, and I worry about what would happen if they might read parts of this book and not others. (you remember skimming for the “good parts”) When I brought this concern up with Weschler in an email exchange, she replied:
You mentioned that you were concerned about girls merely skimming Cycle Savvy, leading to the issue of “a little knowledge is a dangerous thing.” But if we as a society never educate anyone for fear of negative consequences, we would never progress! I strongly believe that providing solid and honest education supercedes any risk of misuse of that education. In the case of teenage girls, for example, I would much rather that they be thoroughly apprised of all matters of sexuality and its incumbent risks, allowing them to make informed choices. My hunch is that far more girls will find the knowledge in Cycle Savvy so empowering that it will prevent an unplanned pregnancy rather than lead to one.
Weschler does address the issue of sexual responsibility, by letting other women’s vignettes speak to the numerous issues that will confront girls who choose to have sex as teenagers – everything from STDs and unplanned pregnancies to date rape and emotional vulnerability. And she says, “I never ever say that teenage girls can have unprotected sex, even if they knew when they were fertile, because of STDs.”
I guess my question is: if you’re not going to ever have unprotected sex, then why would a teenager chart her fertility? Just for the fun of it? Hmm.
Finally, you thought that teenagers wouldn’t read this book because they would be put off by it. But the most common themes running through each of the hundreds of letters I have received from women who read TCOYF is, “Why didn’t I learn this information when I was a teenager?” How could I ignore such compelling feedback?
I think there’s a big difference between writing a book for middle aged women who wish they had gotten information when they were teens, and writing for contemporary teens. I’m not quite sure who the appropriate audience is for this book. I think it’s a bit too much of a good thing.
I wish I could be a more enthusiastic advocate for this book – I certainly think that Weschler has great intent, but it falls short of what contemporary girls will want to or need. For younger teens, I prefer the straightforward, simple Period. I also love It’s Perfectly Normal. But Cycle Savvy has plenty of really positive fans, although none of them have teenaged girls (yet).
December 20, 2006 at 12:51 pm
[...] December 20 Over at Suburban Turmoil, Lindsay writes: “I love the way that Weschler addresses teens as if they are her equals, rather than a silly gaggle of hormone-stuffed dunderheads.” She acknowledges that some of the book’s frank discussion may make some parents uncomfortable, but ultimately recommends the book for older teens, saying, “The more information like this that a girl has at her disposal, the better off she’s going to be.” Susan at Reading Writing Living begs to differ slightly — as the mother of two teen girls, she worries that teens, who “are not famous for reading the fine print,” might skim the book, hit the highlights, and come away with a less than thorough understanding of fertility and sex. Susan shares some of her concerns with the author, and includes Toni’s responses in an excerpt from their email exchange. [...]
December 20, 2006 at 3:02 pm
I just got “Period” for my 12 year old cousin (per he mom/ my aunt’s request). I for one was saved by reading “ARe you There God? It’s Me, Margaret.” I didn’t need science, just the quick and dirty facts. I think the biology becomes interesting later on.
December 20, 2006 at 3:45 pm
That’s an interesting review; thank you. I loved Wescler’s TCOYF. I have a 14 year old daughter and I don’t think she’d touch a pink book! She complains bitterly about all the pink products aimed at girls and hates cutesy stuff. Maybe the girl on the cover should have a nose ring and spikes. I think it’s great there’s so much info out there now for girls, though. When I was a teen I read my parents’ Human Sexuality college textbook cover to cover and I used it as a reference book throughout my teen years. I got a lot out of it because it had a superb index and plenty of graphic photographs, and I liked the no-nonsense, scientific presentation.
December 20, 2006 at 10:13 pm
I took a class on ” fertility awareness” at the health center in college and felt very empowered by it. I used it to make sure I was really careful during fertile times (back in the day when I could get pregnant practically just by looking at my boyfriend) I do wish the info was more readily shared and included in standard sex ed so that girl knew that their bodies gave real signs of fertility. I can’t really imagine reading this book (as described) as a teen but wish the info was included with all the standard stuff..I remember reading “our bodies, ourselves” as a young woman. Lots of good info there.
December 20, 2006 at 10:22 pm
Yeah. I don’t think you can really improve much on “Our Bodies, Ourselves.” It’s the gold standard.
March 19, 2007 at 7:35 pm
Susan! You are in the Washington Post on this one:
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/03/16/AR2007031602043.html
March 20, 2007 at 7:29 am
[...] Tue 20 Mar 2007 Fifteen Seconds of Fame Posted by Susan under Momming & Dadding , Living , Reading Several friends pointed out that we were in the Washington Post yesterday! A journalist contacted us after reading my blog review of that Cycle Savvy book. [...]
March 24, 2007 at 12:16 pm
I guess my question is: if you’re not going to ever have unprotected sex, then why would a teenager chart her fertility? Just for the fun of it? Hmm.
Maybe because condoms by themselves aren’t foolproof, but the two methods together make the risk of pregnancy much lower than either can separately.
March 24, 2007 at 12:24 pm
That may be true, but I STILL can’t see a 16 year old lying in bed and taking their basal temperature every morning, then writing it down in a little chart. Only the most compulsive of teens who probably is not having sex anyway.
April 23, 2007 at 10:24 pm
Thank You
May 29, 2007 at 8:06 pm
[...] Blog Book Tour: Cycle Savvy ReadingWritingLivingThe book is targeted for 14-18 year old girls, and I have one daughter in that range, and one about to enter it. People might remember Weschler s book, Taking Charge of Your Fertility . She has [...]
January 10, 2008 at 8:25 pm
I am shocked at all the responses- that do not support what Toni’s book is talking about. I am a health teacher and have been for 15 years. My students hang on every word I say- during the sex ed unit. The girls want to know more about their cycle, they want more information about what cervical fluid is. Instead we are leaving our girls to the medical community to say that birth control is your only option- and that is more risky than education. How narrow minded are we as women- to be concerned about this book- but not big pharma?
And come on, the talk about the cover being pink, give me a break. If a girl opens it up the thumbs through it to discover all the answers to all their big questions, they will read it pink cover or not. Silly argument to keep girls in the dark- I work with all kinds of girls from rich to getto and this really would not be a factor if presented correctly.
We must education our girls/ young women. But instead to be concerned that this might have them try the cliff note version of charting and get pregnant is a silly thought. Folks these girls are having sex, you can think not my girls- but the fact is many of them are by the time they leave high school, they talk to me about it all the time. Would it not be nice to read this book and then have your teen read it and then have a real talk about their body and how it works. Moms your daughters really want to talk to you, they yearn for that connection, take the time to talk to them and listen to what they have to say. If you think you are doing a good job- try to do an an even better one, because I promise you that you are missing something. Your daughter would never tell you about it though. Education is the key, and Toni does a great job of it.