All writers face those classic dreaded questions. (Thanks, Jade!)
They’re not meant to be awkward, or upsetting, but when you’re standing around at a party, or soccer game, or wedding, and someone says, “So, what do you do?” there is that certain deer-in-the-headlights feeling. And if you are confident stupid enough to say, “I’m a writer,” then the inevitable dreaded questions come around:
- So, have you been published anywhere? (not as a leading question, please no–though you can ask me at some point).
- So, do you have a literary agent?
- How long have you been working on that novel? (Once, someone asked me that question and then followed up with, “How come it takes so long? I have a friend who wrote a novel in one month! Like *snaps her fingers* THAT!”)
- Is there really a point to getting an MFA? What do you DO with an MFA?
- Why would you want to be a writer?
- So, does your husband support
your hobbyyour writing career? - Are you going to write about me?
- What do you do all day at home?
- Do you make any money?
- What’s your novel about? (followed by glazed eyes–if you are really interested, this can have a very cool outcome).
My personal unfavorite is, “What have you written that I might have read?” Because my awkward, uncomfortable answer is, “Probably nothing.” Unless you subscribe(d) to some obscure little literary magazine(s) that went out of print a hundred years ago.
But I’ve actually published a fair quantity of stuff. My fleshed-out CV, that includes every literary thing I’ve ever done, is three and a half pages long. But most people out on the street, or on an airplane, have never read a word of mine and they most likely never will.
So I’ve decided to pull out a bunch of my older writings and put them here. It’s the only way that anyone will be able to read anything I’ve read, unless they happen to stumble upon an ancient copy of American Airline’s inflight magazine at a garage sale, or if they happen to work at some big recycle center. Most of it is older work, except for the column, because for the past ten thousand years I’ve been working on various book length projects that still have not seen the light of day. One day, I hope.
Here you can read about: my grandmother’s riceball-making hands, a poem OR a story about a girl who eats poison mushrooms, a story about a man whose uncle wants his liver, an essay about being half n’ half, or a poem about the daughter that Albert Einstein’s wife gave up for adoption.
Now you can say you’ve read something I’ve written. Besides this blog.
January 31, 2007 at 6:31 pm
Wow thanks for those links. I just read the half n’ half piece and it is great! I am going to keep reading…
January 31, 2007 at 7:53 pm
Thanks for posting these – can’t wait to read them all!
January 31, 2007 at 8:22 pm
“What have you written that I would have read?” is like asking an architect, “So, which famous buildings have you designed?” Or asking a researcher, “Which discoveries have you made that I would have heard about?” Or asking a doctor, “Which famous people have you treated?”
In a way it shows that people are a little bit in awe of writers and just assume they’ve all written something “big” that everyone has heard about. If someone’s a writer, I think people kind of expect them to write a bestseller, but they don’t expect all doctors to find a cure for cancer.
So I think questions are just a sign of the naivete of the questioner. I guess most of them don’t realize how awkward those questions are. Well, except for that woman snapping her fingers and wanting to know what’s taking you so long with a novel. That’s pretty funny.
January 31, 2007 at 10:43 pm
Yay! I’m so excited to read more of your writing. I wish we could all put our writing on our blogs, but until it’s published, it’s not safe
February 3, 2007 at 5:00 pm
Actually it’s NOT SAFE even when it’s published! I came across Sus’ lovely liver transplant story while doing research for something else…it’s a great story so someone else just published it (wtih attribution) but w/o permission!
February 4, 2007 at 2:34 pm
Agh. That makes me so ANGRY. Isn’t there some legal issue when publishing w/o permission? I had a professor who sued someone (and won) who’d used portions of her book and not notified or asked her.